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In Arcane, because Jinx caused the deaths of a large number of people, her sister—Vi—said a lot of harsh things to her, making her feel abandoned. Vi was also taken away by Piltover’s soldiers, which made Jinx feel even more abandoned. And Silco took advantage of this fracture—being “abandoned by the person she cares about most,” this extreme hunger for belonging—and pulled her into his own world.
When she saw Vi again, Vi already had a girlfriend, Caitlyn. At this point, Jinx, who already had a new emotional host, relapsed into her old wounds. Because of Caitlyn, Jinx felt that Vi had completely abandoned her. So in the end, in her madness, she accidentally killed Silco, and also fired a rocket at the Piltover council, accidentally killing Caitlyn’s parents as well.

Silco probably never imagined that he would be killed by Jinx. But the first time I watched this series, I already saw that Silco would absolutely die in this kind of tragic way. Because Jinx is definitely not just someone who simply lacks love, nor is she just mentally ill—she completely lacks any subjectivity at all!

As expected, many people are blaming Vi, thinking she abandoned Jinx. Even the writers of Season 2 seem to intentionally guide the audience to hate Vi. I’m still disappointed in today’s audience, because their level is really low—they only believe in appearances rather than essence, and immediately repeat whatever others say.

Next, I’ll combine my own experiences to talk about this issue. Let me state the conclusion first:
Do not try to save someone who has no subjectivity. Do not build any kind of relationship with someone who lacks subjectivity.

First of all, Jinx’s feelings toward Vi are, in essence, not normal sisterly love. They clearly contain extreme possessiveness, emotional regression, abandonment trauma, and the demand that “you cannot truly have any world beyond me.” At first glance, these things might seem romantic, right? That only shows that there are too many incompetent writers nowadays who don’t understand the boundary between “psychological pathology” and “romance.” To me, all of this feels suffocating.

No matter what, Vi is still just a child. She is not someone with abundant resources, mature and stable cognition, emotional stability, and the capacity to carry another broken soul. A child who hasn’t even become an adult yet has already been thrown into a world full of violence, brutal class differences, and the death of loved ones, while also having to live with a younger sister who is even more psychologically immature and problematic, along with their adoptive father Vander. Many people blame Vi—it’s very common—because these amoeba-like people only stand outside and watch, expecting a child to take on the responsibility of “saving” another even more broken child. That is inherently absurd. And Jinx’s psychological structure is not simply “lack of love,” but clearly a parasitic structure. It was never something that could be solved by “loving her more.” Many people refuse to admit this, because once they admit it, they can no longer dump all responsibility onto Vi, so they can only judge based on the outcome.

Why do I think people like Jinx should be avoided? Because of psychological distortion. What she has is not the longing for love from someone who lacks it, but something that has already twisted into: “I need you to only look at me. You cannot have any world beyond me, otherwise I won’t live—and I will morally accuse you of being cold.” Why is she like this? It’s simple—because she has no subjectivity. People like this are like parasites; they treat the other person as a host, as an organ that maintains their psychological integrity. Once the other person wants to separate, leaves under extreme pressure, or gains a new lover and a new life, they won’t think about parting peacefully. Instead, they feel like they are being torn apart. That’s why a series of insane behaviors appear: interfering with and contaminating other people’s lives.

So why did I dislike Jinx the first time I saw her? Because I look at relationship structures rather than emotions. Of course I sympathize with her tragic childhood, but fundamentally she has no boundaries. She cannot accept that the person she loves has a new life and is an independent, complete individual. She forces her own expectations, incompleteness, and pain onto others, while presenting herself as innocent. In the end, the one who gets labeled as cold and heartless is actually the truly innocent person.

By the way, I also don’t understand why many writers nowadays like to write these things as romantic love. This is not love—it’s distorted attachment and possessiveness. If you’re going to ruin the concept of “romance” like this for so-called dramatic effect, then you might as well change careers, because you don’t even understand the essence of human relationship structures—what are you even doing being a screenwriter?

The emotional line between Silco and Jinx is very tragic. I even think it has similarities with The Phantom of the Opera. Both Silco and the Phantom fell in love with someone who fundamentally does not match them (I’m not discussing whether Silco’s feelings for Jinx are romantic or paternal, but love definitely exists). Many of Silco’s traits are exactly what I desire in an older man. He truly saw Jinx—this crazy child, who in his eyes was the best and the only one. Although there was indeed an element of manipulation at the beginning, his later favoritism, indulgence, empowerment, and even giving up his larger political goals are all real love—not empty, cheap love.

The kind of love I desire from an older man should be like this:
“Even if the whole world thinks you are bad, crazy, dirty—even if you are abandoned by the world—I will still love you and recognize you!!!”
This kind of love is so great and so moving—it hits me directly.

But here lies the tragedy: you cannot fully indulge someone who has no subjectivity. Because a person without boundaries, without subjectivity, and who extremely depends on others will not mature automatically if continuously indulged. Instead, they will become even more boundaryless, more dependent, more demanding, treating all of the other person’s resources and tolerance as default. The real problem is not “giving love” itself, but that the side without subjectivity keeps expanding and demanding endlessly, treating “you will love me and tolerate me” as unlimited credit, while the other side keeps enduring and becoming more suffocated. This is a dangerous relationship structure, because it is imbalance, not love.

n contrast, if Silco were indulging someone who lacked love but had strong subjectivity, then that would be nourishment rather than imbalance. Because this kind of unconditional love allows you to be yourself and to become stronger. Taking myself as an example, I am unconditionally loved by people who love me, which gives me a strong sense of confidence. I used to be very insecure, but the people who love me gave me confidence, and I also found that my writing and creative work have become stronger. I want to be worthy of that love and live up to the people who love me.

People without subjectivity will shamelessly parasitize others. Of course you sympathize with their past suffering, but before having this inexplicable urge to “save” them, you must first think clearly: do they actually have subjectivity? Do they want to stand up, or are they just pretending to sleep? Because many of these people are not simply unfortunate—they are also bad and selfish. The word “pitiful” is often used to erase a person’s responsibility, and can even be seen as a perfect tool for moral blackmail. It’s completely normal for someone to have trauma and pain, but that does not automatically mean that what they do afterward is harmless, nor does it mean they can justifiably parasitize others and abandon their own subjectivity. As an adult, you must at least take responsibility for many things:
Am I crossing boundaries?
Am I destroying other people’s lives?
Am I using my unfinished dreams and pain to hurt others?
These are not things one can completely “not know”—it’s just that they refuse to admit it. Because admitting it means losing their position entirely—it means the dream is over. But don’t you find it strange? Why do they care so much about their “sense of position” in other people’s lives?

There is a saying: “There is something hateful in those who are pitiful.” It is perfectly demonstrated here.

Why do I feel so strongly about this? Because I have experienced it. That’s why the title includes “Mutually Ruinous.”

I once knew someone who had also experienced a lot of pain. By coincidence, we worked in the same group. Because we both liked a certain IP, we quickly exchanged iMessage contacts and became so-called friends. Beyond talking about interests and work, we talked about our families and pasts. That was when I first learned how unfair his family was to him. At the time I was still too young. Maybe people are just drawn to self-destructive patterns—he always triggered in me a strange urge to “save” him, and I always wanted to save him and take him away from that small, broken place full of gossiping people. But we were, from beginning to end, only friends in the literal sense.

Everything changed when I gained new friends, a new ambiguous relationship (I just wanted to sleep with him), and a new life—he couldn’t accept any of it. He developed inexplicable hostility toward my new friends, and whenever I didn’t reach out to him, he accused me of being cold and abandoning him. At one point, he disappeared completely, and then I found out he stabbed me in the back—he slandered me to my new friends. In that situation, I didn’t hesitate at all—I blocked him everywhere. After that, he tried to play the victim through various channels, but I ignored him completely.

After that, I encountered another friend with no subjectivity and no boundaries. At the time, I was teasing my “special snack”—a stupid and unattractive man, because he made me happy. But this friend suddenly couldn’t accept it. She became extremely cold, overly polite, and distant. She never used to wear headphones, but after that, she wore AirPods every day. I couldn’t understand it—it was harder for me to understand than a math problem. I asked ChatGPT, and it said that this person cared deeply about her position in others’ lives, was insecure, and lacked subjectivity. So when she saw that you became closer to someone else, she was the first to break down.

These are both things I personally experienced. Do you really believe that, as adults, they didn’t know what they were doing? The second person was at least trying to maintain the relationship at the time, but the first one stabbed me in the back. When parasitism arises from unstable subjectivity, jealousy always follows: “Why you, not me?” “Why can you be loved while I suffer?” “Why are you so capable?” These thoughts are extremely common. When triggered, they don’t choose to accept things gracefully—they erupt uncontrollably. To put it bluntly, they need therapy, but they refuse to admit it, and still try to occupy others’ lives and keep draining them.

So I don’t understand why so many people like to comment on others’ relationships, casually accusing someone of being cold and abandoning others. I recently rewatched Arcane, which made me think of all this, so I wrote this piece. Speaking from experience: do not engage too much with these kinds of people. Do not have this irrational urge to “save” them. Do not try to “wake” someone who is pretending to sleep. They are not purely innocent—they turn their pain into a blade, disguise it as something harmless, and stab you in the back. Then afterward, they claim they are “pitiful” and “unfortunate.” In the end, you, the kind one, are permanently labeled as “cold” and “someone who abandoned others.”

p.s. When I was writing this, I could feel a kind of manic, almost insane energy running through the entire piece—like the mental load was so high that it felt like holding a knife and slashing wildly. I know some parts are overly repetitive, but in this mental state, how could I possibly put the knife down, hahaha. I honestly think that being able to write something this logically clear in this state is already impressive. I’ll revise it again later, hahaha!!!!!!